2010 Alzheimer's Disease Facts and Figures are Here
03/09/10 Filed in: Elder Care, Dementia Caregiving, Presentations
Just off the presses! The 2010 Alzheimer’s Facts and Figures is here! This has a lot of good information for Alzheimer’s caregivers and patients alike.
This report details the escalation of Alzheimer's, which currently impacts over 5 million Americans. Facts and Figures conveys the burden of Alzheimer's and dementia on individuals, families, local and state government and the nation's healthcare system.
Take a look:report_alzfactsfigures2010
This report details the escalation of Alzheimer's, which currently impacts over 5 million Americans. Facts and Figures conveys the burden of Alzheimer's and dementia on individuals, families, local and state government and the nation's healthcare system.
Take a look:report_alzfactsfigures2010
An Article on ADD/ADHD responding to Dr. Amen's Theory
02/03/10
As I have been trying to correct some minor formatting issues with my ADD/ADHD article which was posted in December, I decided to repost it as an article, as opposed to a series of blogs. This way, the graphics will be displayed. This article gives you information about Attention Deficit Disorder with and without the Hyperactive component.
Attention Deficit Disorder & Dr Amen theory
Attention Deficit Disorder & Dr Amen theory
Check your calender!
02/01/10
Hello, everyone!
I just looked at the calendar and noticed something: It is 2 weeks until Valentine’s Day. If you are in a relationship with someone special, don’t forget about it! Even if your partner says “don’t do anything for me this year,” find some way of showing you care. Write a note, find something that needs to be done at home and do it without being asked, or find some way to show your love for them. The best gift is to do something unexpected!
If you are not in a relationship, Valentines can be hard, but remember, the day is about love. If you don’t have a spouse or significant other, try calling your mom, or giving your kid a ride to school so they don’t have to take the bus. Make it your mission to show love to your family, however you define that term.
Reflections: A Top Ten List of Year-End Questions
02/01/10
Reflections:
A Top Ten List of Year-End Questions
This time of the year can often be filled stress, anxiety, and depression but it doesn’t have to be. We all have the chance to embrace this Christmas season and fill our hearts and minds with gratitude and thankfulness instead of anger and frustration. However, before we can fill our hearts with gratitude we must first begin by releasing any physical stress we may be currently experiencing.
So let’s begin by taking a few deep breaths…really letting your lungs fill until your belly expands and then when your belly is filled, release all your stress as you breathe out, exhaling as deep as possible. After you have completed four or five of these deep breaths read and reflect on what is written below.
In order to embrace the new, we must release the old. A trapeze artist cannot swing from one bar to another without letting go. An important part of preparing for the New Year is to review the past year—to release it—and to learn from it.…
The following questions should stimulate your thinking for this process. I hope that you take time out of your busy schedule this holiday season to ponder where you are and where you've been. Talk with people you care about. Write out your thoughts and feelings. Do some journaling. Consider writing a letter—an end-of the-year-epistle to yourself. It could be profound to write it and valuable to read it in the years ahead.
Reflect upon what you did, how you felt, what you liked, what you didn’t and what you learned. Try to look at yourself and your experience with as much objectivity as you can—much like a biographer would. Here are some suggestions to get you started in mulling over the past year—perhaps the last decade. Feel free to add your own.
What did I learn? (skills, knowledge, awareness, etc.)
What did I accomplish? A list of my wins and achievements.
What would I have done differently? Why?
What did I complete or release? What still feels incomplete to me?
What were the most significant events of the year past? List the top three.
What did I do right? What do I feel especially good about? What was my greatest contribution?
What were the fun things I did? What were the not-so-fun?
What were my biggest challenges/roadblocks/difficulties?
How am I different this year than last?
For what am I particularly grateful?
Another Suggestion: Consider listing all the things in your life of which you’d like to let go—anything you no longer want. Give thanks for what they've brought you in terms of learning and usefulness and then burn the list. It's a symbolic gesture to help you release the old and be open to the new. The next step is to list what you do want—experiences, knowledge, material things, relationships, healings, whatever.…
I'm confident that anything you can do to make this year-end more dramatic in terms of your own personal and spiritual growth will be valuable.
A Top Ten List of Year-End Questions
This time of the year can often be filled stress, anxiety, and depression but it doesn’t have to be. We all have the chance to embrace this Christmas season and fill our hearts and minds with gratitude and thankfulness instead of anger and frustration. However, before we can fill our hearts with gratitude we must first begin by releasing any physical stress we may be currently experiencing.
So let’s begin by taking a few deep breaths…really letting your lungs fill until your belly expands and then when your belly is filled, release all your stress as you breathe out, exhaling as deep as possible. After you have completed four or five of these deep breaths read and reflect on what is written below.
In order to embrace the new, we must release the old. A trapeze artist cannot swing from one bar to another without letting go. An important part of preparing for the New Year is to review the past year—to release it—and to learn from it.…
The following questions should stimulate your thinking for this process. I hope that you take time out of your busy schedule this holiday season to ponder where you are and where you've been. Talk with people you care about. Write out your thoughts and feelings. Do some journaling. Consider writing a letter—an end-of the-year-epistle to yourself. It could be profound to write it and valuable to read it in the years ahead.
Reflect upon what you did, how you felt, what you liked, what you didn’t and what you learned. Try to look at yourself and your experience with as much objectivity as you can—much like a biographer would. Here are some suggestions to get you started in mulling over the past year—perhaps the last decade. Feel free to add your own.
What did I learn? (skills, knowledge, awareness, etc.)
What did I accomplish? A list of my wins and achievements.
What would I have done differently? Why?
What did I complete or release? What still feels incomplete to me?
What were the most significant events of the year past? List the top three.
What did I do right? What do I feel especially good about? What was my greatest contribution?
What were the fun things I did? What were the not-so-fun?
What were my biggest challenges/roadblocks/difficulties?
How am I different this year than last?
For what am I particularly grateful?
Another Suggestion: Consider listing all the things in your life of which you’d like to let go—anything you no longer want. Give thanks for what they've brought you in terms of learning and usefulness and then burn the list. It's a symbolic gesture to help you release the old and be open to the new. The next step is to list what you do want—experiences, knowledge, material things, relationships, healings, whatever.…
I'm confident that anything you can do to make this year-end more dramatic in terms of your own personal and spiritual growth will be valuable.
Holiday Blues
02/01/10 Filed in: Depression
During the holidays, there is an expectation of connection and joy. We are supposed to get together with family, rejoice and sing Christmas carols. But the image of happiness can often be very thin. For many of us, it is a struggle to find the joy of the season because we feel disconnected from those we love, or because the demands of our schedules overwhelm our ability to find peace and relaxation. If this sounds familiar, give me a call. There IS a way to find the joy of the season. Let me help.
3 C's of the Married Relationship: Part 4
10/13/09 Filed in: Couples Therapy | Stress Management
The final C is Compassion.
Acting out of compassion for your spouse and yourself in all things is vital to maintaining a healthy marriage. All too often in relationship, compassion is replaced by selfishness, jealously, and resentment. Compassion involves a continuous desire for your spouse to be happy, to prosper, and to grow in love. This desire is demonstrated in what you think and, more importantly, in what you say to and about your spouse. The most important demonstration of compassion is in how you treat your spouse on a moment-to-moment basis. You show compassion by finding ways to support your spouse in the good times and the difficult times. While the marriage bond requires more than compassion--friendship and sexual attraction are important--compassion is the heart of a relationship.
There are many feelings that can attract and bond you to someone else. When love is real, the foremost among these feelings is compassion. You feel the other's hurts and concerns as your own. You ache to see God's best worked out in that person's life.
The dazed sensation which we call "being in love" often has little to do with compassion. It can come from sexual attraction alone or from being enamored with qualities you esteem in the other. It can also come when the other compensates for a deficit in your own life. The wonderful gratification of knowing that someone else cherishes you exactly as you are can also be mistaken for love. Someone may say, “I'm in love with you”, but what he really means is, “You meet my needs and make me happy.” This is not love; this is neediness and selfishness. Compassion is the opposite of this way of being in relationship with your spouse and will lead to a closer commitment and better communication.
So as you can see, all three of the C’s (Commitment, Communication, and Compassion) in relationship work together to build a healthy, lasting marriage relationship. By improving any one area you will naturally improve the others. So begin to work on these areas today and watch your marriage grow. If you need help give me a call.
Acting out of compassion for your spouse and yourself in all things is vital to maintaining a healthy marriage. All too often in relationship, compassion is replaced by selfishness, jealously, and resentment. Compassion involves a continuous desire for your spouse to be happy, to prosper, and to grow in love. This desire is demonstrated in what you think and, more importantly, in what you say to and about your spouse. The most important demonstration of compassion is in how you treat your spouse on a moment-to-moment basis. You show compassion by finding ways to support your spouse in the good times and the difficult times. While the marriage bond requires more than compassion--friendship and sexual attraction are important--compassion is the heart of a relationship.
There are many feelings that can attract and bond you to someone else. When love is real, the foremost among these feelings is compassion. You feel the other's hurts and concerns as your own. You ache to see God's best worked out in that person's life.
The dazed sensation which we call "being in love" often has little to do with compassion. It can come from sexual attraction alone or from being enamored with qualities you esteem in the other. It can also come when the other compensates for a deficit in your own life. The wonderful gratification of knowing that someone else cherishes you exactly as you are can also be mistaken for love. Someone may say, “I'm in love with you”, but what he really means is, “You meet my needs and make me happy.” This is not love; this is neediness and selfishness. Compassion is the opposite of this way of being in relationship with your spouse and will lead to a closer commitment and better communication.
So as you can see, all three of the C’s (Commitment, Communication, and Compassion) in relationship work together to build a healthy, lasting marriage relationship. By improving any one area you will naturally improve the others. So begin to work on these areas today and watch your marriage grow. If you need help give me a call.
3 C's of the Married Relationship: Part 3
10/12/09 Filed in: Communication, Couples Therapy | Stress Management
How do we communicate when we can’t stop arguing?
Most people look at communication as getting a point across. I instead begin to teach them how to communicate by teaching them to listen to each other and then to voice back to their spouse what they just said before they give their side. This is why I have couples listen to me and repeat to me what I said before they begin to communicate to each other. Communication with me is usually less emotional so it is easier to listen. However, if you can learn to listen first and talk second with me you can usually learn to do it with your spouse. This ability to listen first, repeat what is said, and then give your side will often prevent the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse from starting and keep communication from turning from a discussion to an argument. The 4 Horsemen were discussed on July 13 of this year, but to revisit it, they are as follows: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. As you can see communication and commitment go hand in hand to strengthen and maintain a healthy marriage relationship.
Most people look at communication as getting a point across. I instead begin to teach them how to communicate by teaching them to listen to each other and then to voice back to their spouse what they just said before they give their side. This is why I have couples listen to me and repeat to me what I said before they begin to communicate to each other. Communication with me is usually less emotional so it is easier to listen. However, if you can learn to listen first and talk second with me you can usually learn to do it with your spouse. This ability to listen first, repeat what is said, and then give your side will often prevent the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse from starting and keep communication from turning from a discussion to an argument. The 4 Horsemen were discussed on July 13 of this year, but to revisit it, they are as follows: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. As you can see communication and commitment go hand in hand to strengthen and maintain a healthy marriage relationship.
3 C's of the Married Relationship: Part 2
10/08/09 Filed in: Couples Therapy | Stress Management
Communication issues are probably the most common reason that couples come to see me for therapy. Couples will often tell me “we just can’t seem to communicate about anything”, or “we are constantly arguing”, or “he/she just doesn’t understand me”. They might say we use to get along but now everything we say to each other ends up in a fight. So this is how couples come into my office, after being unable to communicate for usually a long time they are frustrated, hurt, and simply wanting the arguing to end. This arguing and lack of communication often leads one or both spouses to begin to doubt their commitment to the relationship.
With this in mind, I will begin working with the couple to improve communication, but the way I go about it is often a shock to the couple. You see, I will have the couple begin by listening to me and repeating back exactly what I say. I do this because I believe communication begins and ultimately ends with listening and observing not by talking. Arguments and communication problems occur when one person stops listening and instead starts defending themselves or worse judging their spouse. This type of communication will usually follow a very predictable pattern beginning with criticizing your spouses behavior, which then will often jump to contempt for the spouse with name calling (I have unfortunately had couples called their spouse all kinds of very hurtful names in my office). Once these names are spoken the ability to listen has gone out the window and the communication escalates into a full-blown argument, which usually has nothing to do with the original issue but rather has to deal with defending your heart. The emotions especially anger take over and the ability to think logically and communicate in healthy manner are gone. This will often go one until one or both spouses finally stop all communication by shutting down or walking away (known as stonewalling).
This four step process of communication breakdown is known as the 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse for relationships and is described in greater detail in a previous blog, but the important thing to note is that research has shown that this process is a good indication of future marital break-up and divorce. If you find yourself involved in this type of communication, I have a solution: Stop It Now. If you need help stopping it give me a call today.
With this in mind, I will begin working with the couple to improve communication, but the way I go about it is often a shock to the couple. You see, I will have the couple begin by listening to me and repeating back exactly what I say. I do this because I believe communication begins and ultimately ends with listening and observing not by talking. Arguments and communication problems occur when one person stops listening and instead starts defending themselves or worse judging their spouse. This type of communication will usually follow a very predictable pattern beginning with criticizing your spouses behavior, which then will often jump to contempt for the spouse with name calling (I have unfortunately had couples called their spouse all kinds of very hurtful names in my office). Once these names are spoken the ability to listen has gone out the window and the communication escalates into a full-blown argument, which usually has nothing to do with the original issue but rather has to deal with defending your heart. The emotions especially anger take over and the ability to think logically and communicate in healthy manner are gone. This will often go one until one or both spouses finally stop all communication by shutting down or walking away (known as stonewalling).
This four step process of communication breakdown is known as the 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse for relationships and is described in greater detail in a previous blog, but the important thing to note is that research has shown that this process is a good indication of future marital break-up and divorce. If you find yourself involved in this type of communication, I have a solution: Stop It Now. If you need help stopping it give me a call today.
3 C’s of the Married Relationship: Part 1
10/06/09 Filed in: Couples Therapy | Stress Management
Couples come into my office with many complaints, but usually their problems boil down to at least one of three core issues. These issues can be summed up in the “3 C’s of Relationship,” comprised of Commitment, Communication, and Compassion.
Commitment issues include not only emotional and physical affairs but also anything that becomes a priority over the relationship. The one I see most often is the couple who over the years has allowed their commitment to the children take priority over the married relationship. As the children grow, the commitment to the marriage takes a backseat to the commitment to the children. I hear couples tell me over and over that between work and all the children’s activities, although they would like to be with each other more, there is no energy or time left to focus on the marriage. The worse part is that I often hear that they cannot imagine a way to change the situation without hurting the children, which is usually the reason they have come to see me. Giving everything for your children may seem like the most loving thing you can do for them but the truth is if your children grow up learning and seeing that you are more committed to them than your marriage you do them a disservice. Now don’t get me wrong; I am not suggesting that children should not be a priority its just that the main priority should always be to the married relationship. Children need to grow up and learn how to be committed in a relationship. I often ask couples what type of relationship they want for their children as adults and not surprisingly most say that they want them to be in a happy, committed marriage one day (although they will often laugh and say not anytime soon). The question is can you be happily committed in marriage? I believe you can but in order to do so the marriage has to be top priority ALWAYS! This means nothing, not work, extended family, or even children can come between the commitment between you and your spouse. The only relationship that may take priority over your spouse is a spiritual relationship if you and your spouse have one. The key is to communicate through both words and actions daily to your spouse that they are the most important person in your life. If you will demonstrate your commitment to your spouse in all that you do and say the probability of having to deal with the other more devastating commitment issues such as emotional and physical infidelity will decrease dramatically. However, communicating your commitment is often not something that comes naturally so this leads us right into a discussion of the 2nd C, Communication issues, which I will write on tomorrow.
Community Health Fair Presentation
Join the Laurels and the Haven for a complimentary health fair on Aging in Place. Learn from our experts on preventative medicine and much more!
Highlights of the event will include presentations by the following experts and organizations:
Vitas Innovative Hospice Care
The Spahn Law Firm, Estate Planning
Leezas Place, Caregiver Support
New York Life, Long Term Care
Caring Senior Service, Healthy Happy Home
Kidney Care Consultants
Military Senior Resources, VA Benefits
Highlights of the event will include presentations by the following experts and organizations:
- Dr. Allen Novian, Caregiver Stress-Busting
Date: October 7, 2009
Time: 8:30 a.m. until 3:00 p.m.
Location: The Laurels and The Haven
Please RSVP
Contact Number: (210) 404-9005